Lord, help.

this is not right. no, it isn't. i am acting so weirdly these past few weeks. i don't know why. maybe because of last school year's events concerning.. some stuff best kept secret. uhm. i really can't do this. i can't handle this anymore. i am so fed up with my unthinkable thoughts (?!?). i read two blogs today, one i enjoyed, the other one i hated (not the entire blog but one blog entry, the blogger's 1st serious entry i believe). uhm. it was already in the past, but for me it's not. i just can't take the idea of that thing happening again. i just can't. Lord, help.

maybe you can't understand what i am saying, but that's fine. some may know what i am talking about, and to those of you who can, keep quiet (if you want to talk about it, talk about it in front of me. no backstabbing). i can't move on. ok. of course i can, i'm just thinking that i can't. i was so depressed a few days back. i prayed last last night that God would take away the depression. and He did!! praise God for that. but the problem does not end there. i am still struggling to get over this. i keep on thinking about what will happen in the future and when my dream (yes, my dream or should i say nightmare) appears in my mind, i want to do something real bad.

i don't want to be a plastic "friend". i want to forget this. i want to be free from this. i am afraid that i might sin again. i don't want to feel this bondage of my yesterday anymore. God knows what i am feeling. so He did something to help me. last may 9, i was having my quiet time. i was supposed to read 2 Peter 3:3-15, but instead, i read 1 John 3:3-15. and some of the verses i read struck me.

"Everyone who has this hope in him purifies himself, just as he is pure. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning..."

- 1 John3:3, 6

wow. that was accidental and yet God used it to make me realize that when i told Him that i want to be pure again, i am pure again. i don't have to worry anymore because He has already freed me from the bondage of my past sins. i just have to remember this truth all the time so i won't feel bad anymore. God really comforts us even in our daily struggles in life. i know i will still struggle with this. but i know that when i say, "Lord, help" He'll be there. =D

"Born for freedom,

for Your light has set me free..."

- from the song YOUR LOVE,

LCDC2k7's theme song

hei. kmusta naman. gusto ko lang i-share etong kanta ni fergie. nagagandahan kasi ako sa lyrics. haha.=)

I hope you know, I hope you know

That this has nothing to do with you

It's personal, Myself and I

We've got some straightenin' out to do

And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket

But Ive got to get a move on with my life

Its time to be a big girl now

And big girls don't cry

-big girls don't cry

by fergie

hehe. ang ganda talaga.=)

si Lord talaga.. =D

hehehe. nainspire akong magblog tonight kasi nagbasa ako ng blog ng mga tao tao (actually yung kay ate ida at kuya pito lang, hehe). kaya eto ako ngayon. nagbblog. wahaha. XD

nakakainspire yung mga blogs ni ate ida at kuya pito. na-remind ako ng maraming bagay. parang yung WWJD. What Would Jesus Do? ano nga ba? minsan habang nakaupo ako sa mrt eh pumapasok sa isip ko yun. minsan naiisip kong paupuin yung person sa harap ko. kaya lang naiisip ko din, "kababae kong tao ba't ako yung magpapaupo. ang raming lalaki diyan eh." hindi pala tama yun. matapos kong di magpaupo, nagguilty ako. naiisip ko, pano kung si Jesus ay nandun, ano kaya ang gagawin Niya? kaya promise ko sa susunod, kahit tumayo na lang ako, basta kahit may mapaupo akong one person. after all, one good deed will glorify our Lord!!! =D

kamon naman. grabe. nakakatuwa. kilala nio ba kung sino ang nakita ko sa mrt cubao kanina?? siyempre hindi!!! kasi di ko pa sinasabi sa inyo eh. wahaha. XD sino? [drum roll..] si kuya rein!!! yes! si kuya rein! nakita nia rin ako at tinanong nia kung saan ako pupunta. sabi ko, "pauwi na po." hehehe. katuwa talaga. dat made my day..=)

hay nako. speaking of mrt. akala ko kanina ay ma-stranded na ko sa mrt. hay. ang raming tao. di nga mgkasya yung mga tao sa train. siksikan talaga. akala ko pa nga eh magstop ang operation nila. buti na lang hindi. Thank God. ang bait talaga Niya.

hayan. magkakaron ng getog ang LCDC2k7! yes! sana makasama ako kc miss ko na sila. hehe. sana pumayag si mama. sasabayan naman dw ako ni kuya gens-qc. tnx kuya! =D

sige. yun lang muna. si Lord talaga.. ang bait!!! =)

ang aking testimony

Nitong 2nd year, nagbackslide ako. Although present ako sa ACTS Fellowship sa school, yung heart ko ay hindi para kay Lord. Wala akong quiet time the whole school year. Nawala ako sa Kanya. Nilayuan ko Siya at tinakasan. Nakakahiya kasi ung mga ginawa kong kasalanan. Pero dahil mahal Niya ko, di Niya ko tinigilan. Dinala Niya ko sa Inter-School Christian Fellowship Leadership Camp and Discipleship Camp (ISCF-LCDC).

Ginamit ni Lord itong LCDC pra magkita kami ulit; para manumbalik ako sa Kanya. Na-remind ako kung gaano ako kamahal ng Dios. Na-remind ako na namatay si Jesus para sa 'kin.

Dahil nga napakaraming kasalanan na ang nagawa ko, akala ko wala na kong karapatang lumapit kay Jesus. Pero hindi. Nung lumapit ako sa Kanya, naramdaman ko yung pangangailangan ko sa Kanya. There was something missing in my life and I found it in Christ. Pinatawad Niya ko sa mga kasalanan ko; yung mga masasakit na ginawa ko sa pamilya, at sa mga kaibigan ko. I used to be self-centered, proud and unforgiving. But God forgave me for all of those.

Nagbalik si Jesus bilang Panginoon ng buhay ko. I used to make myself the lord of my life. But God renewed my life. He purified me again. He took away the guilt I was feeling inside. He made me see that I love my family, that I have to forgive them for the bad things I have experienced from them. He made me realize tha when we are with Him, we can do even the most impossible things. Binago Niya ko. Ang dating Erin ay patay na. God restored my broken life.

TO GOD BE THE GLORY.

"Ang akin buhay ay binago Niya,

Magmula ng ako'y magpasya

Sa aking puso'y pabalik Siya

Anong himala, ako'y nag-iba

Kasalanan ko ay pinatawad

Ginawang anak Niya

Sa langit pupunta

O kay buti ng Dios at ako'y binago Niya.."